Tenchi Survivor Bonus Material
by Jose Philipe Mendola
Summary: All the trailors and deleted stuff you never saw because you were too cheap to buy the DVD's! Enjoy! And as always, i LOVE the reviews.
1. Bonus MAterial 1

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Authors Rant: Well, here we are again. The stuff you did NOT see when you did NOT buy the DVD. Bonus material for all! Here I am at Hill Air Force Base, Utah, off work early, hopped up on Mountain Dew and have a long time until dinner. Enjoy Survivor Fans.

Tenchi Survivor: Teaser Trailer 1

(A black screen is seen, burning letters are shown. The Sephiroth chorus is heard)

One man. (the words fade and make way for more burning letters. A silhouette behind them is shown. Familiar looking clothes, the camera slowly pans up the body.)

One Evil Plan. (The words fade to make way for more words. Familiar clothes are still seen at chest height. One hand is in the folds of the shirt.)

One cast of unsuspecting victims. (Words fade again to make room for new words. The picture is now at neck height.)

No escape. (the Sephiroth track scratches and Jose is now seen wearing Sephiroths clothes. Jose finishes a can of Mountain Dew and looks at the camera.)

'What? You were expecting someone else?'

(White letters 'fall' onto the screen.)

'this season,' (More fall and push the other words out of the way.)

'Get ready,'

(A short movie is seen of Jose poking around some trees)

"There's no hiding"

(again, white letters fall onto a totally black screen)

'The reality show to end all reality shows.' (They fade out and the final words appear.)

'Tenchi Survivor. This season.' (The words remain and a audio clip of Jose is heard)

'God, I LOVE this job.'


	2. Bonus Material 2

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor Teaser Trailer 2

Authors rant: The truth is, I'm a busy person. ½ of you don't care why I'm busy. Look, I'm a cop. Lay off.

(A Single hand is seen holding the hilt of a sword. It is blue and gold fabric on the hilt, a carved steel hand guard rests just below the blade. The hand is pointed down, camera slowly rotating around it. Traditional Japanese instruments are heard. A voice over is heard.)

'An island in turmoil. A group of people searching for legend. A land run by warriors and assassins. A time when a godsend is needed. A Time that only one man can be looked to. A Hero.'

The picture is pulled back and Jose is seen, standing victorious over an impaled watermelon.

'Feel my wrath.' Jose says.

(The Tenchi Survivor logo is seen, complete with traditional music again. Continuing the voiceover,)

'This summer, a true hero joins the reality show circuit. Jose.'

'Sweet f(beep)ng deal. 'Hero.'"

'Well, kinda.'

'This summer. Don't miss it.'


	3. Bonus Material 3

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor Teaser Trailer 3

(The following quotes appear on screen as they are read.)

'The most anticipated Fic in Jose's Career.' –KBYWDan

'Pure fools gold.' –ZMG123

'It's ok I guess.' –sayWhat312

'Needs more zombies.' –BoomStickBuddy

'The Fic SOMEONE has been waiting to see.' –AmmoCan18

'One big pile of creativity'- Damnnation88 (this quote may have been edited)

'worth reading, but not renting' –blockbuster video

(The quotes fade and bold letters follow)

'Tenchi Survivor.'

(in smaller letters below it)

'Coming soon.'


	4. Bonus Material 4

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor Teaser Trailer 4

(Jose is seen standing in front of a palm tree. A computer is next to him. A cigarette is lit and in Jose's hand. Orange letters are typed onto the screen above Jose's head.)

'Last year, cigarettes killed 440000 people. Jose's fics have been responsible for 3 related deaths.'

(Jose looks at the computer and walks away from it, lit cigarette in hand. He goes off screen.)

'I'll take my chances.' Jose says to himself.

(the following words fade in)

'Tenchi survivor this season. It'll be good. Truly.'


	5. Bonus Material 5

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor Trailer 1

(An island is seen from a distance. The sky is clear and the ocean calm. Soothing music is playing behind a voiceover.)

'This season, one man, one worn out idea, one catch.'

(The scene jumps to Jose standing on a boat.)

'I'm Jose, and this is Tenchi Survivor.'

(The screen pans over a picture of the complete cats, skipping back and forth on occasion. Jose is seen again on the boat.)

'This summer, one anime cast goes up against an island FULL of crazy challenges. Be sure you tune in and watch the fun.'

(The Tenchi Survivor logo is stamped above Jose. Before the commercial cuts out, Jose adds,)

'Well, I'LL have fun anyway.'


	6. Bonus Material 6

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor trailer 2

(The Tenchi Survivor Logo is seen, and a simple voiceover is heard.)

'One island. One 8 person cast. One psychotic host. One winner.'

(Below the logo, the following words fade in)

'Coming this summer.'


	7. Bonus Material 7

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor (BANNED) trailer 1

(A male is seen being loaded into the back of a police car. His face is blurred and two officers lock him into the back of the car. A few other people stand nearby on the street in shock. A Voiceover is heard.)

'Every time you read Tenchi Survivor, the police catch a convicted child molester.'

(Words appear on the bottom of the screen)

'Tenchi Survivor. This summer.'


	8. Bonus MAterial 8

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor Trailer 3

(A dark screen is seen, along with a darkened object. Thunder is heard, and at different points on the screen, lightning flashes revealing parts of the logo for only a second or two. Lightning and thunder become more frequent, lighting up the cloudy, gray sky behind it. The Tenchi Survivor logo is now illuminated. Familiar opening music from Mortal Kombat II is heard. In red, dripping letters, an unseen voice reads off,)

'Coming soon.'


	9. Bonus MAterial 9

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor Trailer 4

(At an indoor pool, a view is seen from the long end. Mark Spitz is standing on the pool edge.)

'hi, I'm Mark Spitz. A lot of people like to talk about what's good for you nowadays. Milk, fruits and vegetables, Marlboro Lights, but my point is, after working with a 'Bandicoot' and milk, this is paying me SO much more. Kids, be healthy. Read Tenchi Survivor. It'll be out soon.'

(Behind Mark Spitz, Jose has clambered atop a high dive. He holds the Tenchi Survivor logo above his head. Mark continues with a shrug.)

'Tenchi Survivor. Read it.'

(Jose jumps into the pool with the logo. It floats back up. Jose does not.)


	10. Bonus MAterial 10

Tenchi Survivor: Bonus Material

Jose Philipe Mendola

Tenchi Survivor (BANNED) Trailer 2

(Former president Bill Clinton is standing on a beach wearing a sports jacket with tie, a swimsuit and sandals.)

'Hi, I'm former president Bill Clinton. If I had my OWN Survivor show, I'd load it with girls and play my own games.'

(From off screen)

'CUT!'

(The scene resets)

''Hi, I'm former president Bill Clinton. Boy, I tell ya, that Jose is a lucky guy. All those good looking girls, I'd pack me a CASE of cigars.'

(From Off Screen)

'CUT!'

(Scene reset)

'I would bang every one of them. Twice.'

(From off screen)

'CUT!'

(Scene reset. This time, Mr. Clinton is wearing a red shirt with a white star in the middle and a blue beanie.)

(Again, from off screen)

'CUT! NO!'

'what?' Bill asks.

9Scene reset, this time, Mr. Clinton is reading from visible cards. He flips them and looks at them while he reads them slowly, never looking at the camera.)

'Hi. I am former president Bill Clinton. I, like many others, like Tenchi Survivor. Be like me. Read Tenchi Survivor. I know you will love it. Tenchi Survivor. This summer.'

(Mr. Clinton looks up and smiles, then quickly looks left and right then precedes to yell)

'Babba Booey! Babba Booey! Babba Booey! Howard Sterns penis!'

(Test Screen)


End file.
